xeniawarriorprincesa:

xeniawarriorprincesa:

The bathroom at work has a motion sensor light that turns off every 30 seconds so every time I try to take a fucking shit at work I gotta have a rave party with my arms while sitting my ass on the toilet or else I’ll just sit in pitch blackness

THIS IS LITTERALLY HOW I BE SHITTING AT WORK

blackcanarydinah:

JURNEE SMOLLETT BELL A PROUD BLACK AND JEWISH WOMAN HAS BEEN CAST AS DINAH LANCE/BLACK CANARY!!!!!!

THE BLACK DAMN CANARY INDEED!

Welcome to the family you amazing Goddess!

andhumanslovedstories:

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight:

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.

If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.

CORRECT

I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic

vmohlere:

tigerliliesandcherryblossoms:

tetsuskitten:

infinityonthot:

fangoddess817:

endreams-s:

writing-prompt-s:

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

A++ addition

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

merlins-fancy-beard:

phlying-squirrel:

steg-o-sore-us:

THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!

One of the biggest reveals of twentygayteen.

lauralot89:

Because I remember disinformation being spread around the last election and I’m sure Russia will bring it back:

• YOU CAN’T VOTE ONLINE.
• YOU CAN’T VOTE FROM YOUR PHONE.
• IN MANY STATES THERE ARE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES FOR PHOTOGRAPHING YOUR BALLOT.
• DO NOT WEAR CAMPAIGN GEAR TO THE POLLS.
• DO NOT TRY TO PERSUADE PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR A CANDIDATE AT THE POLLS.
• DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY KIND OF POLITICAL DISCOURSE AT THE POLLS.
• NO ELECTION IS EVER A SURE THING, EVEN IF YOU’RE IN THE BLUEST OR REDDEST OF STATES.  IF SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT, THEY ARE EITHER IGNORANT OR MALICIOUS.
• VOTE.