major character is shot w weird space gun that steals his lungs: doctor devises a set of holographic lungs to keep him alive until adequate replacements can be found
minor character gets stabbed once in the back w a regular old knife not 50 meters from sickbay: dies instantly. bashir scans him w a tricorder and shakes his head solemnly. there’s nothing he can do.
major character suffers traumatic brain injury, rendering him comatose and just days from death: doctor grows a genetic clone from a gob of alien goo and harvests neurological tissue at just the right time (not w/o its moral dilemmas)
tasha yar zapped by a tar pit: beverly crusher
¯_(ツ)_/¯
QUANTUM TORPEDOES FIRED
Someone steals Spock’s brain: Mccoy turns him into a weird remote control robot. They find the brain and replace it. Bowl cut remains intact.
OMG SHE JUST SAID ‘NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM’ THAT IS THE MOST JEWISH IN-JOKE OF MY LIFE
=||||||
Zionism is a trip
It has nothing to do with Zionism? That’s something we’ve been saying at Passover seders for literally hundreds upon hundreds of years. The phrase outdates the modern state of Israel by centuries.
You can have feelings about Israel existing as a state without literally dismissing half the world’s Jews. Like, sorry, I’m not going to pretend 6 million of my people don’t exist because they live somewhere I don’t like. FFS.
haven’t u heard? admitting jews have referenced jerusalem for literal centuries is evil zionism now
I’m really tired of people saying they have no problems with Jews, and that they certainly support Jews living in a unified post-Israel Palestinian state, but then expecting that in the meantime, we will all pretend that those Jews living in Israel don’t exist as Jews.
Like, sorry, but we’re still not back to pre-Holocaust numbers, I don’t have the luxury of acting like diaspora Jews are the only Jews in the world, maybe y’all shouldn’t have killed so many of us and expelled us from your countries if you wanted us to act like the Jews in Israel just pulled an Infinity War and disappeared off the face of the earth.
chamber of secrets au where fred and george steal ginny’s diary bc “haha ginny why are you keeping a diary omg its old and blank” and they just start drawing dicks in it and then the dicks fade off the paper and fred and george just look at each other and go “omg infinite dicks” so they draw dicks on it all year until the diary literally ink vomits itself to death bc tom riddle cant handle the dicks anymore and no one ever opened the chamber of secrets and fred and george destroyed the very first horcrux the end
This is my legacy
#dicksoutfortomriddle
in 124,000 notes no one has added a caption so completely wonderful and succint and beautiful and goddamn perfect ive been laughing for 15 years thank you
diary: stolen
pages: self-erasing
dicks: out
TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE IS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE HORCRUX
OK Highway Patrol Captain George Brown says the best “tip” for women to not get raped by a cop is to “follow the law in the first place so you don’t get pulled over.” http://youtu.be/BO8g8akPWcY (Last third of the video).
Three serial rapists in 3 weeks arrested in Oklahoma, all cops.
Pro tip: if you’re signaled to pull over (whether you’re male or female) and you’re in a place that has no witnesses, turn your hazard lights on to acknowledge the officer’s siren, and drive to the nearest gas station or populated area. This is accepted protocol by every agency. You are not obligated pull over until you can do so safely. This includes personal safety. Understand your rights, brothers and sisters. There are disgusting examples of authority in this world.
HAZARD LIGHTS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. IT IS NOT ACCEPTED PROTOCOL BY EVERY AGENCY. DO NOT JUST CONTINUE DRIVING WITH YOUR HAZARD LIGHTS IN CASE THE COP MIGHT THINK IT’S A LOW-SPEED CHASE.
I know that sounds dumb, but hear me out. My mother is a dispatcher for the local police station. I asked her about how to pull over for a cop and even brought up the use of hazard lights, and she told me that it is not always accepted. This is what she told me you can do in order to feel safe when pulling over:
Call the police. No, really. Call and tell the dispatcher where you are and that there is a cop behind you demanding you pull over. The dispatcher can and will stay on the line with you while they look up the area you’re in to see if it’s one of their station’s cops. Then, once the cop comes to your window, you can crack it open (it only has to be an inch!) while still on the phone with the dispatcher. This is definitely, 100% accepted protocol.
The dispatcher will verify that it is their own, real cop, and they will gladly stay on the line with you throughout your interaction with the officer. And God forbid this ever happens to any of you, but if something were to happen to you during this time, you’ve already contacted 911 and given your location to the dispatcher.
Please keep this in mind if you are ever requested to pull over and do not feel safe. The dispatcher will understand. Do not, however, continue to drive, because there might be the off-chance an officer will think you’re flat-out refusing to pull over (a well-lit, populated area might be a ways away).
Stay safe.
Signal boost.
Because I personally know some creepy ass mother fuckers who became cops because they’re demented psychopaths and they get off on having control over people.
In light of current bullshit, this might be a good idea for a LOT of people, not just women. Marginalized minorities of all stripes, take note. I hate taking up an emergency dispatcher’s resources, but i also hate seeing yet another fucked up news story about police harming citizens.
Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.
However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.
All I can think about is a vampire used to not seeing their reflection in mirrors for centuries, and one day they are just walking along and unknowingly pass a mirror backed with aluminum and THEY NEARLY SHIT THEMSELVES.
ForLoveFromFear 