things I love about storm news
“NOBODY SHOULD BE ON THE BEACH NOBODY SHOULD BE THERE YOU COULD DIE- we’re now going live to Steve on the beach. How is it looking, Steve?”
“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”
DEAD
“Story time.
I have this one white friend.
And – [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like – where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know – [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,
“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”
And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”
And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”
And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”
And – [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”
And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”
And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”
And I’m like “Yes.”
And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”
I’m like, “No.”
And she’s like “What’s the difference?”
And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”
And she’s like “I don’t understand.”
And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”
I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.
i’ve apparently been consuming an entirely different world of media than y’all because most of the stories in the world revolve around bros being bros…but sure. intense male friendships are underrepresented and oppressed. they aren’t central to most mythology, there aren’t entire genres devoted to them, there wasn’t an entire “no homo” word invented for them because they’re so ubiquitous, ancient philosophers didn’t invent a word to describe them and often hold them to be superior to relationships with women i apparently imagine things all the time.
like there are so many shows where women BARELY EXIST or there’s ONLY ONE how the fuck could male frienships be underrepresented, they are the ONLY FEASIBLE RELATIONSHIP ANYONE CAN HAVE IN A LOT OF STUFF BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS GIRLS TO BE CHARACTERS IN LIKE HALF OF MEDIA NOR DO THEY WANT ANY QUEER CHARACTERS.
Due to the Assyrian-Greeks’ attempt to destroy the menorah, they caused millions of menorahs to be lit around the world each year from now on instead.
Guys we are seriously so badass. Try to make us stop doing mitzvot? We make a new holiday with a mitzvah reminding us how we kicked your ass. Try to wipe us out? We will make a holiday about how we kicked your ass, make cookies making fun of your terrible taste in headwear, and boo your name from now until the sun blows up. We are awesomeness.
*walks under the ARch of Titus* HEY, WE’RE STILL HERE 3 GENOCIDES LATER
OK sorry I am interrupting this post now
Three weeks ago today I went on a trip to Poland for Holocaust studies. One of the first things we were told was this story.
After the Shoah, the Ponevezher Rav went to Rome to try to collect funds for his yeshiva. He left the airport, found his talmid who he was staying with, and as they got into the taxi, he said “We need to go to the Arch of Titus” (or, well, he said that in Yiddish). The talmid was incredulous: “Rebbe, it’s midnight, it’s pouring with rain, come to your rooms! Why do you need to see this Arch, anyway?” But the rabbi was insistent, so the talmid gave in. They arrived, and the rebbe got out of the taxi, looked at the Arch – this frail old man next to a towering 15 metre (~50ft) stone arch, and one to the triumphs of the Emperor Titus, no less, the man who led the siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the churban, the destruction of the Second Temple which we still mourn on Tisha B’Av.
He got out of the taxi, and roared at the top of his lungs into the night.
“TITUS, TITUS! VU BISTU, VAYL IKH BIN DO?”
Titus, Titus! Where are you? For I am here.
When we stood at the crematoria at Auschwitz, that’s what the rabbi did. he tipped back his head, and he screamed. Hitler, Hitler! Where are you? Because we are here.
(please forgive any Yiddish errors – though do send me corrections – this is a write-up of notes from one verbal story of many at an understandably emotional time)
I’m so fucking tired of goyim ignoring antisemitism. They ignore everything until something so extreme happens, like the recent shooting. How about you start caring about us BEFORE WE FUCKING DIE. Just fucking LISTEN for ONCE when we say we’re angry or scared or sad about the injustices we as a people have faced OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I don’t know one single Jewish person who hasnt been touched by antisemitism. I’ve been called a kike more times than I can count. I went to elementary school with a boy who told me he wished Hitler had won the war. I was shouted at and threatened by a stranger for wearing a Magen David. My grandpa has had to respond to bomb threats at our synagogue. My grandma had to switch roommates in college because her roommate was violently antisemitic. My fucking Jewish PRESCHOOL had to have ARMED GUARDS to keep people from fucking MURDERING PRESCHOOL AGED JEWISH CHILDREN. I thought all preschools had armed guards until I was like 12. Just fucking LISTEN when we say things. Here, I’ll give you a list of things you NEED to listen to us about.
Holocaust deniers are violent antisemites, no exceptions. They are dangerous and do not deserve a platform to speak.
Jewish people cannot be nazis, no matter how much you disagree with them. Ben Shapiro is a piece of transphobic racist shit, but he’s not and will never be a Nazi.
Trump and many people in his cabinet have repeatedly used antisemitic dog whistles, most recently calling himself a nationalist.
We. Are not. All. White. Stop being dicks to Jewish people of color.
And we’re not all ashkenazi!!! Google is your friend if you don’t know what that means.
Don’t do that “Nazi puncher” bullshit if you don’t actively uplift and defend Jewish people. Punching nazis is a great thing but you need to uplift and support jews at the same time.
Stop pinning Israeli war crimes on random Jewish people. And stop demanding we tell you our opinions on Israel before you treat us with basic human decency.
GOY IS NOT A SLUR
Judaism is an ETHNORELIGION. I am both religiously AND ethnically Jewish. It’s not that hard to understand.
ForLoveFromFear 