The more and more I play Life is Strange, the more and more I realize how fucked up Joyce and David are.
Yeah. At first the romantic in me was all ready to blame Chloe for instigating stuff and slowly starting to think maybe David is to blame and then it hit me.
Joyce is enabling David’s abuse of her daughter.
Because when Chloe is hit the look on her face is not of someone hit for the first time. This is an ongoing thing… and Joyce tells Chloe not to instigate David rather than… you know… tossing him out on his ass. It’s only when she learns he was fucking spying on her and Chloe that Joyce finally womaned up and chose to kick him to the curb… and I like to think that if Max had not spoken up, David was out anyway. Max can calm things down and save David’s ass. But even then he’s still ungrateful.
Joyce was allowing an abusive bastard into her home because she was lonely. She missed William. Chloe was pushing her away because Chloe was in pain having lost both her dad and best friend. So what does Joyce do? She turns to the first “cute face” that comes along and shows her interest and clings to him. Hell, David wasn’t even a security guard at Blackwell at that point. In the other timeline we see David driving a bus – probably because Joyce convinced him to put in at Blackwell in the William Dies timelines.
When you listen to Chloe begging Max to sacrifice herself for the town, you can hear an abused and fractured young woman begging her best friend to save the life of the woman who enabled her breaking. This is the woman who refused to listen to her own daughter when she said David hit me and instead said “don’t instigate him.” Or in other words… “you deserved it.”
Sorry. I don’t care if Joyce dies in the Save Chloe ending… because in my eyes Chloe is worth a dozen Joyces. The one saving grace about Joyce is she probably agrees with me on that.
I know a lot of people disagree with me on this. Joyce is this “wonderful angel” in the eyes of many because she is “patient” with Chloe and the like. But she allowed an abuser to hit her daughter and chose to tell Chloe “don’t instigate him” rather than throw David the fuck out. She allowed her daughter to be abused and this is a significant reason why Chloe is as broken as she is.
Further, it is when her own privacy is violated by David that Joyce throws him the fuck out, rather than anything David did to Chloe. Chloe was forced to live in a household where she did not feel safe because of Joyce’s actions. Hell, I have to wonder if David had smacked Max for some reason if Joyce would have been all “you shouldn’t have instigated him” as well for all that she seemed to love Max as a second daughter.
Joyce is a selfish person who thought of herself first. This doesn’t make her a bad person. There are plenty of decent-but-flawed people out there. But she isn’t the angel so many like to claim she is… and in the end I’m fairly certain she’d have told Max “save my daughter” if she’d had a say in the matter.
““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””
— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via i-contain-multitudes)
– Not taking your child’s injuries seriously when they’re younger, may make them feel like they can’t tell you anything when they’re older.
– PLEASE let your kid take personal days once in awhile once they reach highschool.
– Grades are NOT everything. You can get plenty of well paying jobs now without having to go to college.
– Really strict parenting leads to sneaky kids. Trust me.
– Let them be who they want. They can’t change who they are, whether it is sexual orientation, gender identity or anything else. They need someone to support them.
– ^ Never say “you’re too young to know”
– ¼ teenagers deal with a mental illness of some sort (in the U.S). Please make sure they’re okay.
– You can’t MAKE them chose an educational field.
– Even an A+ student who’s a star athlete can be suicidal.
– MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST
– Self harm is more common than you think amongst teenagers. It’s also not always cutting (or on wrists). Be aware.
– Sex ed. doesn’t teach them anything.
– Tattoos and piercing aren’t “unprofessional” anymore
– If they have depression, please DO NOT call them lazy. It’s almost the worst insult you could say.
– If their grades are dropping for no reason, ask about it. Don’t assume things.
– Most teenagers don’t have high self esteem. Don’t make it worse.
– School is much harder now than it ever has been before.
– Not everyone on the internet is a predator
– It’s normal to have internet friends now
– Take them seriously
Also
– Don’t take their phones/computers away from them, as that is severing a link to what could be the only people that understand and care about them – Don’t get mad at them for always being on their phone/computer. They have friends online and it’s absolute hell to get yelled at by parents for talking to your friends
-Don’t force them to be more outgoing, especially if they show signs of not enjoying large groups of people -Don’t say, “You don’t know who you’re talking to,” about their internet friends -Don’t yell at them ever, especially if they have a fear of loud noises -If they tell you that they’re hallucinating, don’t say, “That’s just your imagination running off with you.” -Also, don’t say that they’re making up something that is legitimately hurting them -Don’t force them to do anything that they aren’t interested in -Don’t say that you’ll get help for them without actually getting any
If your son what’s to get his toenails painted, like mommy… LET HIM.
If your daughter wants to try out for football, LET HER.
If you son wants a doll so he can play take care f the baby, like daddy’s taking care of the real baby, BUY HIM ONE!
If your daughter wants a tool set for Christmas, BUY HER ONE!
Also
Never tell your son he can’t cry because “boys don’t cry”
If your daughter does something she really loves and you don’t, never tell her it’s not “lady like”
Harming your kinds never solves things, if anything it makes them hate you, and I’m not talking only about slapping
Also, don’t assume everyone of your kids opposite gender is their boyfriend/girlfriend and make fun of them about it because they will feel insecure about when they actually find someone they like or if they aren’t straight, it might just be worse.
also don’t expect your kids to respect you if you don’t respect them
-don’t??? take your kids’ door away???? or light bulbs for that matter????? it’s awful
oKAY I’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE LIGHT BULB ONE BEFORE WTF???????????????
WHY?????????????????????? WOULD YOU DO THAT????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
This is sad but very true!
It disgusting knowing this is how most parents treat their children nowadays!
But things like this make you realize that you’re not alone! There are people out there who know what it’s like! You may feel like no one understands or cares about you, but someone does! Stay strong and reach out for help when you know something’s wrong! Because I know one thing for sure, WE CARE ABOUT YOU!
@adultprivilege thought this would be interesting to share w/ u.
Some scary controlling people will tell you over and over how important consent is to them. They will tell you that they want to respect your boundaries, and that if anything makes you uncomfortable, they will stop. They will say this over and over, apparently sincerely.
Until you actually say no.
And then, suddenly, they create a reason that it wasn’t ok, after all, and that you’re going to do what they wanted anyway.
They will tell you that it *would* be ok to say no, and that of course they’d respect it, but you said it wrong. And that you have to understand that it hurts them when you say it that way. (And that you should make it better by doing what they wanted).
Or they will tell you that of course they don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but you said yes before. And that this means that either it’s really ok with you, or that you don’t trust them anymore. And that you have to understand that it hurts when you withdraw trust like that (and that you should make it better by doing what they wanted.)
Or that they have a headache. Or that they just can’t deal with it right now. That maybe when they feel better or aren’t tired or grumpy or had a better day it will be ok to say no. (And that meanwhile, you should fix things by doing what they wanted).
Or that by saying no, you’re accusing them of being an awful person. And that they’d never do anything to hurt you, so why are you making accusations like that? (And, implicitly, that you should fix it by doing what they wanted.)
If this kind of thing happens every time you say no, things are really wrong.
No isn’t a theoretical construct. In mutually respectful relationships, people say no to each other often, and it’s not a big deal
to the men that were used by a broken women i’m sorry. to the men that were faithful to a women that wounded them emotionally i’m sorry. to the men that have been sexually abused by the women they love and trusted i’m sorry. to the men that have been physically abused and mentally abused, i’m so sorry. you deserved better and you aren’t less of a man. i hope you find peace.
If I were ten, or fourteen, or seventeen, and being abused by my parents, I have absolutely no idea what I would do. I don’t just mean ‘because I’d be ten and an abuse victim and not able to figure out which options I had’ I also mean ‘if I with all my current knowledge and abilities had the legal status of a ten year old, and I was being abused, I have absolutely no idea what I would do.’
We have advice for people in abusive relationships. You get out. It’s really important. Abuse warps your ability to recognize abuse and to accomplish things and to build a support network for yourself; it often feels safer to stay, but it rarely is. We have a safety net, however patched together, intended to help you run and give you somewhere to land.
If you are not yet eighteen, our society is not set up to let you do that. In many places it is illegal without your parents’ permission. You cannot get for yourself the benefits like food stamps that you would be eligible for as an adult in the same circumstances. Hotels will not rent a room to you and landlords will not sign a lease with you. Without lots of interaction with a complex state process that is terrifying, unpredictable and can make things way worse, you cannot set your own medical power of attorney. You cannot pick your own guardians even if they are happy to have you. You cannot redirect money of your care to a person of your choosing. You cannot hire people to assist you in life tasks you need assistance with, even if you have money.
We have no interest in giving children a way out of their living situations except by surrendering themselves to different authority figures they have even less reason to trust.
I think the most important project of children’s rights is changing that. I want to make it legal to run away from home, legal to stay with any adult who you choose (and to access resources that will help that adult support you if they can’t afford to provide you with a safe environment), legal to access benefits in your own name, legal to change your power of attorney, legal to change your name and get a restraining order and get a bank account. I want kids to be able to access medical care independently. I want domestic violence shelters for children that categorically promise never to send you back unless you decide to go back yourself. I want kids who’d like to work full-time to get to meet with a social worker who will approve that if it’s actually their best option instead of dithering about how we should pretend they have better ones. Well, I want a UBI for kids but until we get that I want to stop forcing them to only take jobs where their employers are willing to break the law.
It’s going to take a lot more than that, but it’s going to have to include this. And the way things are now is a horrifying wrong.
(https://www.1800runaway.org is a hotline that will help you make a plan to leave your home safely if you are a minor.)
ForLoveFromFear 