Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.
So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.
And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.
^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is
Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.
Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family. It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors.
All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here
toxic parents is the book i checked out from the library last january that REALLY SINCERELY helped kickstart my road to recovery. even if you are not a victim of abuse, they are invaluable reasources, but help pass them around so people who have been abused can have access to material that actually, genuinely, sees them and provides them with concrete help
People will tell you that emotional abuse isn’t real and what you’re dealing with isn’t that big a deal and you’re just exaggerating, but let me tell you something.
If you’ve ever been wary of everyone you know, even people you trust, because you’re expecting them to get angry with you over literally anything, make fun of you, or start making threats, something’s wrong.
If you’ve ever had to plan things in anticipation of a potential tantrum that you fear will be taken out on you, something’s wrong.
If you succumb to someone’s demands because you’re never sure if their threats are empty or legit and you just want to play it on the safe side, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself jumping at smaller noises in anticipation that they’re a warning sign for a tantrum, something’s wrong.
If you hide things – especially things that make you happy – because you’re so afraid that they’ll make fun of you for liking them, scold you for liking something they don’t, take them away, destroy them, or that they’ll defile them and ruin that love you have for them, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself being silent in the face of mild disagreements or thinly-veiled insults, rather than standing up for yourself because you just don’t want to start an argument and make things worse, something’s wrong.
If that very lack of standing up for yourself eventually leads to you never offering your opinion in any sort of discussion out of fear of ridicule or being scolded because that’s what you’re so used to, something’s wrong.
If you end up spending a lot of your time in your room keeping to yourself and keeping any trip outside of your room to an absolute minimum because you don’t want to risk putting one toe out of line and setting off a tantrum, yet you’re also aware that hiding out will also cause an issue and you’re probably just minimizing the risk instead of erasing it entirely, something’s wrong.
If you ever habitually glance outside the window to keep watch for your supposed abuser’s car to return from their work, errand or trip, and then heading to your room or other hiding place to keep out of their way, erasing any obvious signs that you’ve been out and about in the rest of your living space, something’s wrong.
If one of your greatest fantasies involves not a dream career or winning the lottery but instead an escape plan succeeding, something’s wrong.
If you could basically summarize your life as living in constant, subtle fear, Something. Is. Wrong.
Emotional abuse is very, very real, and it has lasting consequences that can affect people’s relationships, their jobs, and their lives all-around.
If you work to support the both of you while he does NOTHING, leave him.
If he cheated once, leave him immediately, plenty of fish, don’t wait for him to do it again because we both know he will.
If he has no ambition or goals in life, leave his sorry ass.
If he raised a hand on you ONCE, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
If he makes you feel worthless and incompetent, leave him.
If he calls you names and pushes you down, leave him.
If he FORCES you to submit to him and be his doormat, LEAVE HIM.
There are too many men in this world to let that one fucker treat you like crap. He is a grain of sand in a dessert. Find a better grain of sand that’s ACTUALLY WORTH YOUR TIME AND EFFORT.
Sex worker or vanilla girl, black, white, asian, latina, mixed, no matter your ethnicity, background, trans woman or cis woman, gay, straight or bi, disabled or not, no matter your race, sexuality, age, no matter what,
LEAVE ABUSERS AND DEADBEAT “PARTNERS” THAT DRAG YOU DOWN.
YOU ARE GOLD AND DON’T MAKE ME FUCKING REPEAT MYSELF.
not to be controversial but the reason they wont pass a law saying that people with a history of domestic violence arent legally allowed to purchase a gun is bc half of the police force would no longer be legally allowed to hold their jobs.
this ain’t tea this is hennessy
based on reporting, 10% of families in the general population endure domestic violence.
escaping abusive partners in law enforcement is made particularly difficult for these victims, because police officers
are armed
know the otherwise confidential locations of domestic abuse shelters
are able to game the system in order to avoid punishment
are often friends with the very officers who would be called to assist in a domestic situation
and can sometimes redirect blame onto the victims—one of my coworkers knows someone whose spouse was a cop who got her arrested for kidnapping when she fled with her children.
Same reason they don’t treat rape like a real crime – if they did, half the cops, male lawyers and male judges would be forced to think of their own fraternity hijinks as crimes and they can’t have that.
PLEASE IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHERE MY HUSBAND IS SHARE IT WITH ME OR THE MASON OHIO PD
PLEASE SHARE THIS POST TO HELP FIND MY HUSBAND
Dillon Alexander Williams went to Kings Island with me and my mother Melanie Dean but is now nowhere to be found. Last time I saw him was at the Build a Bear in Kings Island and he seemed completely fine. After hours of security searching they discovered my husband was no longer in the park and hadn’t been since 11 am. He was seen on camera walking out of the park, through the Soak City parking lot and out towards the Sunoco on the other side of the street.
He was last seen wearing black jeans, pink converse, a red and black Deadpool letterman jacket and a Marie the cat beanie like in the pictures I’ve provided.
I’ve been asking around and no one has seen him. This is legitimately the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, please, if you have ANY info call the Mason PD or send me a PM on here. I just want my husband home.
I called the Mason PD myself and asked if there was a missing persons report on Dillon Williams and /yes/ there is an actual report and search going on for this guy. So it’s not made up that he’s missing.
HEY GUYS I DID MORE DIGGING ON THIS AND GOT IN TOUCH WITH DILLON’S MOTHER
He’s not missing, its a false police report. He’s trying to get away from his wife.
Obviously I asked permission to post these screenshots of the conversation I had with his mother. He is not missing. OP is trying to use Tumblr and Facebook and stranger’s lack of knowledge of the family and situation to find him and control and further abuse him.
A lot of people reblogged this from me earlier, I’d really appreciate if you reblogged this instead!
Finally. This version.
HES NOT MISSING! HES FLEEING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!
Don’t reblog the original post only. Add this info. It’s not safe for him.
That is CRIMINAL to send him back!
That judge must be republican
Yo if a child is crying this hard and begging not to go back to their mother’s house, SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG. Protect the kids, man. Smh….
Oh no… my heart aches
Poor baby, hurts me bc this is everyday shit…
This shit fucked me up…..
I always tell myself not to watch these things but always end up watching them & crying & feeling like a horrible person because I want to help so bad but I know I can’t. Ugh I really hope they fix this & help this child
According to this, the dad got in trouble for illegally taking Mikey to Massachusetts without checking with the Illinois judge. They’re trying to terminate the dad’s parental rights because they’re claiming he kidnapped his kid- that he had primary custody of- and instead returning him to his mom who not only demonstrably physically abused him, but it running a fucking meth house. It’s fucking wild.
there’s no action on your part that forces someone to treat you as subhuman. doing something, or not doing something doesn’t make a normal person mistreat or abuse you. it is always the other persons decision to abuse you, not yours.
abuse can warp our brains and make us think things like ‘well i didn’t so the dishes, how else is someone supposed to react?’, and the answer is not like that. normal people don’t react that way and abuse others. normal people don’t look at something someone did that they didn’t like and go ‘I’m going to make the conscious decision to make this person experience emotional or physical distress. They have displeased me so I will make their life hell.“
abuse isn’t your fault. abuse isn’t something you can make someone do to you.
Why does “prostitute” necessarily have to equal abuse as you implied? While it’s true that many sex workers are abused, your implication is that to be a sex worker is to be a victim of abuse. Now I can’t find much on your blog on this topic, but you’re sounding kinda SWERFy right now and if I were you I would re-examine my beliefs on how sex work functions in our society and on the women (and men and enbies) who participate in it.
Now, I don’t want to ignore the fact that male writers are in the habit of both pigeonholing female characters into these types of work and in writing abuse into their character arcs. I freely and readily acknowledge that it is lazy and toxic. But I would like to point out that writing sex workers is not inherently devaluing the characters and a character being a sex worker does not necessarily equal being a victim of abuse.
Here’s some hard to swallow pills that’ll probably make people upset but is 100% the truth and idc.
You do not have to stay in a relationship with a mentally ill person if it becomes too much for you to handle. You are not their saviour, that’s not your responsibility to save them.
Any person who uses their mental instability to control you staying is a shitty person. IE “if you leave me I swear to god I’ll kill myself”, still not your responsibility, LEAVE.
Threatening self harm to get what you want is abuse, don’t ever let somebody treat you that way.
ForLoveFromFear 