claroquequiza:

Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

girlswillbeboys11:

Voldemort: I’ve come to kill you.

James: Hold, on. Let me ask Lily.

Voldemort: No, that’s no how this-

James: Sorry! She said no.

accio-shitpost:

harry: i’m just saying, if i have to go and drop this damn locket in mount doom or some shit, i’m gonna sue

justfairythings:

justfairythings:

justfairythings:

lmao okay i lost 7 followers for posting that but to everyone else, hello, it’s ya boy, about to lose more of you BUT please hear me out

i need help lmao. 

we have to move on super short notice, landlord’s selling the house, and i’m like $600 short for deposit + first and last months’ rent at the cheapest place in town with availability. if everyone who liked that threw me a few bucks we could have this covered.

if you’ve ever loved me please consider hitting that donation link so my wife and i have a place to sleep next week. 

we, uh, definitely still need help. if you’re reading this and could spare anything, please know that i’d die for you. 

i’m also still offering shitty tarot readings as a thank you with any donation, just include a note with a question + your url if you want it included. 

paypal.me/justfairythings

okay guys here’s the update:

we’re moving on thursday. reserved the truck, managed to get the deposit together with your help + A Loan, which i’m not thrilled about but w/e everything was looking great until

my goddamn amazon prime membership renewed itself. one meltdown in the bathroom at work later, i got it canceled but it’ll be 3-5 days before it’s refunded, allegedly.

in the meantime, like… it was $119 that i super need by thursday lmao. any donations now would help me make that up and/or make a start on the loan ($300) if i get the refund in time. groceries have been moved to the optional list at this point lmao

tl;dr: we’re almost there, please help

karnalesbian:

crunchwrapofnotredame:

headed to target for a dick appointment

was claire’s closed