paranoidpeonies:

fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive:

haesthal:

Men are not inherently violent, predatory, or dangerous. Any feminist project worthy of the name needs to acknowledge that this behavior is taught. The idea of men being biologically predisposed to being abusers or rapists is actively used against abuse and rape survivors / victims
(does the phrase “boys will be boys” ring a bell at all to you?) and will never, ever work in our favor.

The whole “male predisposition to toxicity” thing is also frequently used against trans women, by terfs. So that’s shitty too.

I’ve also heard it used to belittle the trauma of male survivors – after all, men are all jerks, so he probably deserved it!

Furthermore, the more people think men are born to be awful, the fewer people are gonna teach boys NOT TO BE AWFUL, and the fewer adult men are gonna make the effort to be better people, which is…kind of necessary? Because the onus of ending male awfulness is on men, and the parents of *future* men, not on anyone else.

I highly recommend folks read “Boys Will Be Boys”, by Clementine Ford. 

It’s a book which tackles just this: how big the lie is that it’s “natural” for boys and men to be aggressive. She cites lots of studies, and delves into just how deeply ingrained toxic masculinity is in this patriarchal society, and how this harms everyone. Women, men, trans and gender non-conforming people. Honestly, everyone is so negatively affected by this. 

It’s also no coincidence that male suicide stats are so high — it comes back to this dangerous, restrictive, unnatural notion that men “aren’t allowed to feel things”, or be emotional beings, thus making them feel like failures for having any emotions at all. Society needs to work harder at addressing this toxicity, and make space for a healthy masculinity. One that doesn’t punish men when they are gentle, caring people, and that doesn’t prescribe “only one way to be a man”.

Anyway, read her book if you have the chance ❤️