Thin people really do not get what it’s like trying to access clothes as a fat person, but almost Every. Single. One. Of them smugly believes that they do get it, and it just blows my mind.
I’ve been trying to find a basic suit jacket for a while. And it’s been nigh impossible to find any options that:
1. Fit a size 22/24, 3x/4x while still buttoning fully
2. Black or grey without any unnecessary bells and whistles like fringe, military brass buttons and epaulet loops, zipper accents, pearl embellishments, busy print like polka dots or flowers, whatever they can throw on it to “distract” from the fact the person wearing it is fat
3. Has full sleeves and not the ruched ¾ length sleeves like 90% of plus size blazers have for some reason
4. Non-stretchy fabric and no elastic bands that will buckle and warp after two uses
5. Quality fabric that is not thin as paper and quality construction that will not fall apart after a couple times wearing it
I fully expect to have to pay for alterations as well after finding a basic black suit coat that meets all these requirements. I’ve been attempting to find one in a store front so I can actually fully assess whether the requirements I have are met. I’ve come up empty after visiting the few Torrids, Lane Bryants, Old Navys, and Avenues in my area. So like a naive child I thought I’d get some helpful suggestions after making a post with all the details I’ve just described and asking for recommendations.
Since then, I have had a bunch of thin people:
1. Suggest I look in an online store that doesn’t carry anything above a 2x and which has ¾ length sleeves on every single jacket listed
2. “My mom has the same problem” – okay great? How does that help?
3. “Have you tried Goodwill, you could update old clothes you find there” – yes I had never thought of that obvious option and i also want to spend hours digging through racks of straight-size clothes to maaaaybe find the one needle-in-a-haystack of outdated inappropriate shoulder-padded monstrosity that some thin fashion blogger hasn’t already snagged to turn into a size 2 vest
4. “Try Forever 21” – which carries even less selection of professional wear and range of sizes than Torrid, Lane Bryant, or the Avenue
5. “Try Macy’s” – which also has less selection in-store, skews super matronly in style of their plus sizes, and has expensive prices. I’m not trying to pay $150+ online for a jacket i’m not even sure will fit me and even if it does fit i would have to sink another $50+ in alterations into only to come out looking like something my grandma would wear and creating the “sloppy out of touch incompetent” vibe I’m attempting to avoid by buying a new jacket in the first place.
And like, every well-meaning but ultimately useless and ignorant response I get is just exhausting at this point, because now I get to look like an unreasonably picky fatty for not just accepting crap options that don’t actually meet my fairly mild criteria.
And I get to navigate the absolutely lovely catch-22 of either just giving up on finding appropriate professional garb (so every time I need to do something in a professional setting I look like a sloppy fat person) or turning down the suggested options and continue the search (so all the thin people making bad suggestions rest secure in the ‘knowledge’ that fat people have lots of clothing options but are just too picky)
I’m so tired.
I feel you on this. My own search has been for footwear that 1) looks reasonably fashionable and suitable to wear to work with dresses; 2) offers the structure and support I need as a fat person; and 3) slip on bc you know laces suck your life energy when you are big. This appears to be a nearly impossible combination.
So you may have thought of this already, but men’s clothing stores carry a HUGE selection of sizes and they have the style of jacket you are after. Can you tailor a men’s jacket? If you get the jacket on clearance then the tailoring might not feel like such a huge hit.
As an aside, my own solution to professional wear has been to give up on suits entirely. I manage with dresses and skirts paired with nice tops and cardigans. It works in about 90% of situations.
Yah a couple others have suggested the “men’s suit and get it altered” option which I think is what I’m gonna try if this last thing I’m trying doesn’t work out (found a tailor who is queer and body positive so I’m going to talk to them about pricing a custom-made jacket as they offer sliding-scale options I might be able to afford for just one garment)
The dress/skirt/cardigan combo is def a good one that I also use in 90% of situations but I have a need for that other 10% which is what the suit-search is for. 😩😩😩
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