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The south and Caribbean is where slavery was the most brutal…. And both places are notorious for beating their children harshly…. You gonna tell me there’s no correlation? 🤔

sis you too loud 👀

Listen….

Are we not gonna speak about how bad hazing is down south 🤷🏾‍♀️

ON POINT with the Caribbean reference

Idk about other Haitian parents, but my parents and grandparents always said it was rude to whistle while adults are around… years later I found out that it’s because slave masters didn’t like slaves whistling while they were working. Shit just got passed down through generations. Same goes for beatings

Its crazy bc it was honestly all these people knew about discipline, so I really can’t fault them but how do so many people just let this go on years after the fact??

My parents are Haitian and the whistling is true. I can’t whistle for shit when I’m around them nor look them in the eyes when I speak. It’s always looking away or looking down cause they think it’s being rude when you do so.

my mother is from Grenada and same. she HATES whistling and I can’t look away either. also if she calls me (on the phone or anywhere) if I only say hello, yes or hi she’ll be like “hi who?” all offended like….

Same here. Something it feels like they were so afraid that someone else was gonna punish us more harshly for doing something that they made sure to ‘’raise’’ us right from the get go. To be afraid of everything in advance and know ‘’our place’’. The number of time I flinched when my friend would do some basic stuff ( like talking back, whistling, not remove their shoes in the house) because I thought their parents would beat them up …. only to realise that not everyone is raised this way

With that being said, and as fucked up as it sound, I am happy I was raised like this in a way. My friends were MAD disrespectful to their parents and honestly, if you can’t respect your own parent as kids, it’s pretty easy to see how you are gonna treat strangers when you are an adult.  

I’m not gonna raise my kid as harshly as my parents did , that’s for sure. No beating. But I won’t raised them like those white folks either. 

Your whole first paragraph opened my mind so much, damn. It makes me think of respectability and how we had to act after slavery that adults instilled harshly into their children

Cheers babe 🙂  Your whole post is a propre eye opener to be honest. Such an interesting topic about something we all almost went through. I think it’s a necessity to try to understand our parents behaviours…It does not make it okay, but it can help people move on and perhaps finds some peace. 

Omg YES. I’ve been saying this! It’s wild to me that those who were enslaved took and watched beatings and whipping and them turned around and used the same kind of punishment on their children, to the point that it became cultural acceptable. Its a terrible learned behavior that conditioned us to think physical punishment is best. That’s one of the main reasons why I don’t wanna whoop my kids.

Damn. My mom hates it when i whistle. She wont allow it in the house cause my grandpa didnt allow her to whistle as a kid.

That’s the thing – the correlation between respect as fear, rather than respect as considering other’s opinions and actions as valid is quite interwined with an oppressive context. In Brazil older people, especially from poorer places, tend to believe that older people in your family can’t be adressed as ‘you’, but as Sr/Miss. Also, there’s the ‘can’t answer’ thing, which is basically ‘you can’t argue or debate with people who are older and higher hierarchically.
The idea of discipline through sheer acceptance is nonsense and clearly validates itself by the perpetuation of older power schemes, like slavery.

That’s pretty strong correlation. I had no idea about some of the stuff mentioned above.

Every time I see “the south” I accidentally think of South America but yea all of this!!!

I’m waiting for us to realize that only having terror and abuse in our personal coffers isn’t a legacy and that it’s a lousy inheritance

Harsh corporal punishment and enforcement by violence was literally beaten into us while our heritage was stripped away.

I’m Liberian and my dad has never let me or my brothers whistle and we never understood why, we just let it go. Also when you think of black Greek organization the hazing process for SOME of them are intense.